This 2 minute special was aired as part of Monty Python‘s 30th anniversary special. This was made in tribute to the Python’s famous “Dead Parrot” sketch. Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire
Archive for June, 2009
special 6.spe.005 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire
June 28, 2009Street magician 7.st.998 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire
June 26, 2009Synopsis
Stan and Kyle is lured into a cult called Blainetology after David Blaine performs some street magic and passes out some information on himself and his cult. Stan snaps out of it and calls upon Jesus to help him out. Jesus in turns calls upon his superfriends, which includes other deities and religious leaders, to help Stan rescue Kyle and to stop Blaine from converting the rest of the US to his cult.
Full Recap
Street magician David Blaine is in South Park performing magic tricks and promoting his workshop. The boys are anxious to sign up and learn magic tricks; instead they are pitched on Blaine-tology and are pitched an opportunity to attend a camp, where they can learn so much more. The workshop and camp are actually a front for a cult. The boys find themselves sucked in; only Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire Stan begins to have second thoughts and tries to leave. He tries to get Kyle to leave with him, but Kyle’s been sucked in. Stan leaves, but his friendship with Kyle has been ruined.
As Blaine-tologists, Kyle and Cartman go door to door, trying to recruit more members. As an ex-member Stan is being hassled, he goes to seek the help of Jesus. Blaine eats his own head at a performance in Denver, and then Jesus challenges him on stage. Jesus’ attempts to match Blaine’s magic are primitive at best. He decides he needs to call on his friends, “The Super Best Friends.” Meanwhile, back at the camp, Blaine’s application for tax-exempt status has been rejected by the government. In retaliation the Blaine-tologists are going to march on Washington, DC and commit a mass suicide.
Stan and Jesus arrive at the Hall of Super Best Friends where Stan meets some of the “Super Best Friends”: Buddha, Mohammad, Krishna, Joseph Smith, Lao Tzu and Sea Man. Meanwhile, back at camp, Kyle has second thoughts and considers escaping, but Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire Cartman sells him out. Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Super Best Friends, the “Super Best Friends” and Stan detect the movement of the cult towards Washington and the implication if they actually got tax-exempt status; they would actually become a real religion. In Washington, DC, the cult members plan to drown themselves in the reflecting pool, which is only about 6 inches deep.
The “Super Best Friends” and Stan arrive on the scene. Stan looks for Kyle while the “Super Best Friends” take on the cult. Then they must face Blaine himself. Blaine brings the Lincoln Memorial statue to life, forcing the “Super Best Friends” to consult their computer back at base named Moses. Moses recommends that they create a giant stone John Wilkes-Booth to combat Lincoln. Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire Wilkes-Booth shoots Lincoln in the back of the head and Kyle and the other cult members are saved, but when all is said and done, Blaine escapes, promising the “Super Best Friends” that he will be back.
Kenny dies when he successfully commits suicide by drowning himself in the 6 inch deep water of the reflecting pool in Washington DC.
Broadcasts to the Dutch East Indies and Malaya
June 17, 2009No. 954
FROM: Tokyo (Togo) November 12, 1941
TO: Hanoi # 30.
The gist of my # 515 [a] to Vichy is as follows:
Instructions have already been given to Ambassador YOSHIZAWA.
Comparing this with the gist of # 485 [b] (re the matter of improving the French Indo‑Chinese attitude towards Japan) the extensive powers granted to you as Ambassador are clearly shown. Negotiate with the French authorities for the granting of corresponding powers of negotiation to the French Indo‑Chinese Governor General.
[a] See IV, 945.
[b] See IV, 933.
Trans. 11‑18‑41
No. 955
FROM: Vichy November 12, 1941
TO: Tokyo # 601.
Re your # 517 [a], # 523 [b], and # 524 [c].
After a series of negotiations with the French authorities, ARUNARU [d] on the 12th made the following definite promise to HARADA:
(1) They will provide by the end of this year 10,000 tons of additional supply in accordance with our schedule.
(2) They will issue instructions to the French officials on the spot to supply us with 12,000 tons Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire of the remaining 15,000 tons which is to be shipped within this year, provided that the payment is made in gold (this includes the 2,900 tons mentioned in your # 523 [b]).
(3) As to the method of payment in gold, they have no objection in principle to that suggested in your # 507 [a], but they are contacting the local officials at present with regard to the details.
‑‑‑‑‑ With regard to the remaining 3,000 tons, although we have been negotiating on the assumption that the payment should be made in yen, the French authorities have begun to show some reluctance, giving as a reason for their attitude that if payment in yen is permitted they would have to permit the Germans to pay in marks. I, therefore, have decided to continue my negotiations on this phase of the question.
[a] Not available.
[b] See IV, 949.
[c] See IV, 950.
[d] ARNALD, Minister at Vichy.
Trans. 11‑15‑41
A-438
THE “MAGIC” BACKGROUND OF PEARL HARBOR
No. 956
FROM: Tokyo November 13, 1941
TO: Singapore # 345.
Regarding your # 698 [a]. Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire
Referring to the last part of paragraph 7.
Broadcasts directed to Singapore and French Indo‑China are:
I Directed to the South Seas:
JVZ; 11,815 kc; 25.39 meters
JJI; 9,535 kc; 31.46 meters
Broadcasts on Japan time from 7 pm to 9:55 pm
From 7:00 pm, not less than 10 minutes, news in English
From 7:30 pm, news in Mandarin http://LOUIS-J-SHEEHAN.US
From 8:20 pm, news in Cantonese
From 8:40 pm, news in Fukienese
From 9:00 pm, news in Japanese
From 9:10 pm, interpretation of current events
From 9:20 pm, lecture in Japanese, Mon., Wed., Fri.
From 9:20 pm, news from home, and music; Tues. & Thurs.
From 9:30 pm, news in Mandarin.
II Broadcasts to French Indo‑China and Thailand:
JVWZ, 11,725 kc; 25.59 meters
JVZ, 11,815 kc; 25.39 meters
From 9:55 pm until 12 midnight:
10:00 pm, news in French
11:00 pm, news in Thai
11:20 pm, news in Cantonese
11:40 pm, news in Burmese
9.bro.002002 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire III Broadcasts to the Dutch East Indies and Malaya:
JZI, 9,025 kc; 31.46 meters
From 9:55 pm until 12 midnight:
10:00 pm, news in Dutch
10:30 pm, news in English http://LOUIS-J-SHEEHAN.US
11:00 pm, news in Malay
11:30 pm, news in Fukienese
[a] Not available.
Trans. 1‑8‑42
No. 957
FROM: Vichy November 14, 1941
TO: Tokyo # 608.
Re your # 528 [a].
On the 14th I had HARADA transmit to Vice‑Minister ROSIYA [b] the purport of your instructions. I understand that the Vice‑Minister replied that he would at once look into the matter and then reply.
[a] See IV, 953.
[b] Kana spelling, Roshier.
Trans. 11‑18‑41
A-439
No. 958
FROM: Hanoi November 15, 1941
TO: Tokyo # 081.
Regarding my # 077 [a].
Messages of a special nature which are best not seen by staff members should be sent addressed to Consul General and at the head of the message put GAISIN [b] as is the case with messages addressed to our Embassy in China.
[a] Not available.
[b] “Reply requested.”
Trans: 1‑15‑42
No. 959
FROM: Tokyo November 15, 1941
TO: Hanoi # 040.
Tokyo to Vichy # 538.
(1) The amount of trade and the type of bade is, according to negotiation # 15, to be settled by the end of this year, and according to item # 8 the fishery right must also be arranged for soon. The Japanese government wishes to put all matters connected with trade in French Indo‑China in the hands of Special Ambassador Yoshizawa, who is now ready to carry on negotiations with French Indo‑China’s Governor General. Will you please ask the French government to cable authority to negotiate to the French Indo‑China Governor.
(2) Regarding the Japanese demand on these questions, a full outline is as separate cable # 537 [a] and if France wishes to carry on negotiations regarding rubber in Vichy, please do this, following the lines in cable # 536 [a], so that your negotiation there will be the same as that carried on in French Indo‑China.
[a] Not available.
STUKA 5.stu.003003 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire
June 12, 2009No. 807 FROM: Berlin (GMBRK) November 10, 1941 TO: Tokyo # 049. Parts 8 and 9[a] Construction varies in accordance with the different purposes to be fulfilled. It is not the so‑called (? standard system ?) of our country. (1) Interceptor (2) STUKA (3) Long range reconnaissance plane 2. Performance as an interceptor. Engine DB‑601F Wing area‑36.2 sq. meters Speed‑580 km Cruising range 2200‑2500 km. Part 9. Ceiling‑9500 meters Total weight‑8800 kilograms Armament: in the front of the fuselage two fixed MG17 two 20mm guns (‑1G‑15mm) Above the fuselage, on both sides two remote control twin 13mm MG Since the crew consists of 2 men, in two fuselage turrets, http://LOUIS-J-SHEEHAN.INFO to the bottom and to the rear . . . [a] Parts 2, 3, and 11‑17 http://LOUIS-J-SHEEHAN.INFO same number; no other parts available. Trans. 3‑31‑45 No. 808 FROM: Berlin (GMBRK) November 10, 1941 TO: Tokyo (RIKUGUNSHO FUKKAN, War Office Sen. Adjutant) #049. Parts 11‑17[a]. 4. Performance as a long range reconnaissance plane. Two continuous air cameras are fixed in the bomb bay at the bottom front of the fuselage. Other data are the same as for the (? preceding type ?). 5. A comparison of the ME‑210 with the ME‑110, showing the progress in design, is as follows. (This information was offered to us by the ME Company, in, order to show the capabilities of the new type.) A-372 THE “MAGIC” BACKGROUND OF PEARL HARBOR Maximum speed‑from 545 km. to 620 km. (conditions unknown). Part 12 (? low level ?) speed‑from 460 km. to 510 km. Climbing speed to 6,000 meters—from 10.9 minutes, at 7 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire tons, to 12.3 minutes, at 9 tons. Ceiling—from 9200 meters, at 7 tons, to 8900 meters, at 9 tons. Cruising range (combat time—30 minutes) from 1100 km. to 2540 km. In particular, the bullet proofing has been (increased ?). It is noteworthy that much importance has been attached to this point. Part 13 Construction time in mass production—from 16 hours to 11 hours. Kinds of accessories—from 637 to 201 Kinds of bolts—from 340 to 156. 6. Some reference data obtained at the time of this interview are as follows: (1) The question of whether air cooling or liquid cooling is better in a high speed plane has not yet been settled. However, the Germans have the opinion that air cooling is difficult at high altitudes, of 10,000 meters or so. Part 14 For this reason, they are studying a special cooling (? fan ?). However, this has not yet become successful, since it results in the loss of a great deal of thrusting power. They say it would be all right to use it with Japan’s very powerful air‑cooled engines, if the HP is (? sufficient ?). (2) The ME Company is studying the Spitfire which was recently obtained. Its speed, according to the Germans, is up to 520 km., and its performance is superior to that of the old ME-109E type. Part 15 However, no comparison has been made between it and the present day ME‑109E type (it has been said that this plane has actually attained a speed of about 600 km.). (The German Air Force believes that its fighter has a definite superiority in speed of 60 to 70 km. per hour.) It is said that the proportion of losses of this type in recent Anglo‑German air battles has been from 1 to 7 to 1 to 10. Part 16 (3) According to statements made, by officials of the ME Company, the expansion of the front in Russia has resulted in a great expansion of aircraft activity, and this has increased the number of losses. Moreover, losses caused by deficiencies in airfields necessitate a far greater number of replacements than do losses incurred in air battles. (4) My question as to whether or not the FOCKE WULF single‑seat fighter (FW‑190) is being used at the front was answered in the affirmative. Part 17 Although its performance; etc., is not known, I believe that it is about the same as the ME-109E type. Our proposals in regard to such cooperative planning of (? fighter ?) planes as may be necessary have been stated above. After giving full consideration to the performance data concerning the ME‑210 type plane, which the German Army is about to complete, please give in advance full instructions to the technicians who will be sent in the future for cooperative planning. To make demands which cannot be fulfilled . . . . . [a] Parts 2, 3, 8, and 9 same number; no other parts available. Trans. 3‑31‑45 A-373 No. 809 FROM: Berlin (GMBRK) November 19, 1941 TO: Tokyo (RIKUGUNSHO FUKKAN) (War Office, Sen. Adjutant) # 006. (2 parts complete.) From the Chief of the Technical Headquarters section in Germany. To the (? Technical ?) headquarters and Ordnance Administration headquarters. A report on the results of a visit to the MŌZERU factory, made for the purpose of learning methods of constructing rifle stocks from laminated materials. 1. Laminated material stock. (a) Laminated stock materials consist of beech boards about 1 mm. thick put together with a glue material. We are going to make a study of the glue material (TEGO‑LIME FILM) and of the lamination process. Part 2 (b) Its weight in the finished rifle is 100 to 150 grams more than that of walnut. (c) The laminated materials need not be given ordinary air drying, but can be dried by hot air in eight hours; the water content is 9 to 10%. Its degree of (warping ?) is small in comparison with that of walnut. (d) Its (? time of bonding ?) is the same as that of walnut —1G— RINGUMAITO[a], but it is about 4 times as —1G—. 2. WalnutLouis J. Sheehan, Esquire materials are also used. Their drying consists of 8 weeks of hot air drying after a minimum of 6 months of ordinary air drying. —1G— is lowered from 22 to 7%. The room temperature is 25[a] and the humidity is 60%. 3. In testing the stocks, emphasis is placed on the use of external type cohesion testing devices at the time of completion. Together with seeking —2G— they carry out complete drying, as described above, —2G— barrel housing. Since they are endeavoring to improve the degree of —1G—,they have made it possible to use (? extraction ?) tests during firing tests. [a] “RINGU” may refer to “RINGO”, part of trade names used by WILHELM SURING, Dresden resin lacquer manufacturer. Trans. 3‑29‑45 No. 810 FROM: Berlin (GMBRK) November 29, 1941 TO: Tokyo (RIKYGUNJIKAN) (Vice Minister of War) # 156. (Part 1.)[a] (Committee Wire 97.) The Japanese and Manchukuo cargo which is to be loaded on blockade‑runner number 1 after this will be increased more and more to amount to a gross tonnage of about 2700 tons. Japanese authorities about 1700 tons. With these items—MITSUI—about 891 tons. MITSUBISHI—about 159 tons. OKURA—about 443 tons. The other companies—187 tons. Manchukuo authorities—about 1000 tons—about 30 tons being Swiss cargo. A-374 THE “MAGIC” BACKGROUND OF PEARL HARBOR The increase in goods is at present progressing satisfactorily and by December 15 all of the freight will be assembled at certain places in Germany, whereafter special trains ‑2M‑ (will bring) the freight to the port of departure. [a] Parts 3‑6 same number, part 2 not available.
IKEDA New Guinea 1.new.002100 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire
June 8, 2009STUMOTO Jambi. MAKINO Tarakan. MAKING Pa‑‑‑‑‑ Pan. SAKURAI Sageirinda[b]. TAKANO Sanga Snaga[b]. UEDA Puura [b]. YANAGIYA Banks[b]. WATAGI Biriton[b]. EGAWA Sunda[b]. AIDA Malacca. BANDO Sumaran[b]. FUNABASI Timor. IKEDA New Guinea. KATAGIRI Lashio. MIZOGUTI The Peruri su[b] region. NUKADA The Geta[b] region. SAWAKAWA The Kota Bharu region. TAKESITA East. UTSUNOMIYA West. YAMANE South. ARAMAKI North. DOOKE Island. [a] See 706A in which Tokyo sends out a circular containing hidden‑meaning words to be used as an emergency system for dispatches. [b]Kana spelling. Trans. 12‑9‑41 No. 706A FROM: Tokyo November 27, 1941 TO: Washington Circular # 2409. (In 4 parts, complete.) Rio de Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire Janeiro to Santiago as Circular # 324. (Washington sent to Ottawa, Mexico City, http://LOUIS-J-SHEEHAN.ORG Bogota, Caracas, Havana, Panama, New York, and New Orleans as unnumbered message.) (Part 1) Handle as Chief of Office routing. With international relations becoming more strained, the following emergency system of despatches, using INGO DENPO (hidden word, or misleading language telegrams) is placed in effect. Please study this carefully. Make up a table with the left column containing the code words and the right the corresponding plain (decoded)‑text. Please see that there is no mistake in transcribing this. EXAMPLE: A message meaning: A-324 THE “MAGIC” BACKGROUND OF PEARL HARBOR “Japan and U.S.S.R. military have clashed”, will read: “HIJIKATA and KUBOTA clerks, have both been ordered to your embassy on 15th (begin spell) S T 0 P (end spell).” In order to distinguish these cables from others, the English word S T 0 P will be added at the end as an indicator. (The Japanese word “OWARI” (end) will not be used). (Part 2) Code Word Meaning ARIMURA Code communications prohibited. ASAI Communications will be by radio broadcasts. ASAKURA Will communicate by radio broadcast. You are directed to listen carefully. ASIKAGA Reception of overseas broadcast impossible due to interference. AZUMA Pressure or Japan increasing continually. EDOGUTI Prepare for evacuation. HANABUSA Preparations for evacuation have been completed. HANAZONO (?) Prepare to entrust Embassy property to suitable foreign envoy (or consul) there. HATAKEYAMA Relations between Japan and ‑‑‑‑‑ (blank) ‑‑‑‑‑ have been severed. HATTORI Relations between Japan and ‑‑‑‑‑ (blank) ‑‑‑‑‑ are not in accordance with expectation. (Part 3) HIZIKATA Japan’s and ‑‑‑‑‑ (blank’s) ‑‑‑‑‑ military forces have clashed. HOSINO Japan and ‑‑‑‑‑ (blank) ‑‑‑‑‑ are entering a full fledged general war. IBARAGI Communicate to us probable date of breaking off of relations between Japan and the country to which you are accredited. INAGAKI Have you ‑‑‑?‑‑ the ‑‑‑‑‑ (blank) ‑‑‑‑‑ matter? ISHIKAWA I have ‑‑‑?‑‑ the ‑‑‑‑‑ (blank) ‑‑‑‑‑ matter. KASHIWAGI We are commencing military action? against ‑‑‑‑ (blank) ‑‑‑‑ KOBAYAKAWA Stop issuing all entrance and transient visas to Japan to persons of ‑‑‑‑‑ (blank) ‑‑‑‑‑ nationality. KODAMA Japan. KOMIYANA http://LOUIS-J-SHEEHAN.ORG China. KOYANAGI England. KUBOTA U.S.S.R. KURIBARA France(?) KUSUNOKI Germany. MATUTANI Italy (Part 4) MINAMI U.S.A. MIWATA Canada MIYAZAKI Mexico MOROKOSI Brazil MOTIZUKI Panama NAGAMINE Argentina NAKAZATO Thailand A-325 Code Word Meaning NANGO French Indo‑China NEGI (?) Netherlands East‑Indies OGAWA Burma (?) OKAMOTO Malaya OKUMJRA Australia ONIZUKA Union of South Africa (?) ONODNRA Enemy country OTANI ? (Possibly: friendly, or allied country ?) ONISI Year SIMANAKA Day (?) SAKAKIBARA Tsuki) Month SIGENOI (KŌ) Paragraph SANZYO (Toki) Time ITIRO 1 NISAKU 2 SANTARO 3 YOITI 4 GORO 5 MASAROKU 6 SIMETARO 7 Louis J. Sheehan, Esquire YASOKITI 8 HISAMATU 9 ATUMI 0 No. 707 FROM: Canton December 2, 1941 TO: Tokyo # 512. Secret outside the department. If hostilities are to begin we here are all prepared. The army has completed all preparations to move immediately upon Thai. Should the British resist to the bitter end, it is understood that the army is prepared to go so far as to militarily occupy the country. Trans. 12‑11‑41 No. 708 FROM: Shanghai December 4, 1941 TO: Tokyo # 2220. We have not yet issued any official orders for physical examinations, etc. However, we are going to do so as of the 1st. This may be handled as though the order were confidentially sent on the 1st. Trans. 12‑9‑41 A-326
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